The Dream
by katbow
Summary: This is a chapter out of a story I am working on. It kind of took on a life of its own, it became a one shot. Constructive advise welcomed. Takes place post MJ. Gale followed Katniss to 12 and he takes her out to the woods to help her heal. But it is Prim, who comes to Katniss through a dream that helps her figure out what she won't let herself feel. Lemons.


THE DREAM

Katniss opened her eyes and stared up at flecks of blue peeking through a blanket of green. She blinked and tried to focus her eyes. What woke her up... she laid there and listened. But all she could hear were the sounds that the woods make, in the early morning, when everything is starting to come alive for the new day. She looked over to the other side of the campfire where Gale should have been sleeping but he wasn't there... nothing was there. No Gale, no blankets, no supplies... nothing. She sat up and looked around but didn't recognize where she was. Would Gale have just left her here by herself? She knew that they had words and she had said some terrible things to him. But... she never thought he would just leave her... he had said he would never leave her... that he would always be there.

She tentatively called out, "Gale... Gale." And then louder "GALE!" She got up on her knees and looked around, "He wouldn't leave me. He's always had my back. He wouldn't leave me... would he?" The more she argued with herself, the tighter her chest became. The tighter her chest became the more air she tried to suck into her lungs.

She tried to stand up, but a wave of dizziness hit her as she continued to breath hard and fast. Everything was starting to spin around and around and she crashed back down with an "oomph." Katniss drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tight around them. She laid her forehead on her knees. "Okay... just calm down... think Katniss... THINK."

She sat there and listened. "Okay, what woke me up? There was a noise... something... familiar." She felt it was... something she had been missing... missing so bad that it hurt. Then she heard it again. She froze in place, and held her breath. Every nerve in her body was tingling. Every hair was standing on end. She thought, 'No... No... this can't be... can it!'

Then she heard... her name... someone was calling her name. But it wasn't just someone... it was... Prim! Katniss jumped to her feet and screamed, "PRIM... PRIM... WHERE ARE YOU... PRIM... TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!"

"I am over here, Katniss... over here!" Katniss spun around in the direction of Prim's voice and started running. She ran through the bushes and jumped over logs not caring that her exposed skin was being scratched and she was bleeding. She would only slow down to call out Prim's name again and Prim would answer "Here Katniss... over here." Katniss finally burst through a thick layer of underbrush and out into, what looked like, a small clearing. The clearing was covered by a dense mist and Katniss called out, "PRIM... Prim are you here?"

The mist began to swirl around and then lifted slowly revealing Prim. She stood there smiling and said, "Here I am Katniss." Katniss stood frozen for just a minute and then she launched herself at her and hugged her so tight that Prim finally gasped out, "Katniss... I ...can't ... breath."

Katniss fell to her knees in front of Prim and began to examine her from head to toe, to see if she was okay. To see if she was real. Prim started giggling and squirming until she finally squeaked out, "Stop... your... tickling... me!" Katniss finally stopped looking her over satisfied that she was okay... but was she real!? She just starred at Prim with eyes full of tears and confusion.

"I have missed you Katniss."

"Oh, I have missed you so much little duck and I am so sorry. I tried to get to you." Katniss exclaimed through tears. "But..." Katniss wiped her face on the back of her hand. "I don't understand... you were... there was a bomb ... and fire... and you were."

Prim reached out and touched Katniss face, "I know. It's okay. Really, it is. Come and sit with me for awhile."

She took Katniss by the hand and lead her over to a log on the far side of the clearing. There was a big pot of rabbit stew cooking over a fire and Prim stooped down and stirred the stew, sending up the mouth watering aroma of the simmering concoction. Which, caused Katniss's stomach to send her a loud reminder that she had not been eating much lately. Prim turned, smiling and shaking her head, and sat down on the log motioning for Katniss to join her.

Prim reached into a bag she had sitting next to the log and took out some cloths and a bowl which she filled with water. She began to clean the cuts and scraps on Katniss's arms and face and applied some healing herbs.

Katniss just sat on the log next to Prim and starred at her, afraid to take her eyes off of her. Afraid that if she even blinked Prim would be gone. Because, this can't be real... can it, Katniss thought. But really it didn't matter to her. Prim was here in front of her and she wasn't going to let her go.

When she was done doctoring Katniss's wounds Prim softly said, "I am only here for a short time Katniss." Katniss started to protest but, Prim held up her hand and stated, "I have come to help you. Help you to understand and sort out everything that you won't let yourself feel."

Prim looked at Katniss with that 'I know you don't like this kind of thing, but it needs to happen' look. "I know that you and mom have not had the best relationship since daddy died. You have always felt that she let you down and me too. That she should have stepped up and taken care of us."

Katniss just turned her head and looked into the fire. "She should have been there to take care of you, Prim. She should have been the mother you needed after daddy died. But she wasn't there."

Prim reached out and took Katniss chin in her hand and turned her face back toward her. "She should have been there for YOU Katniss. She should have been there to help YOU with all the responsibilities of the survival of our family. But... I think now you know what she was going through... right."

Katniss just looked at Prim with that stubborn tilt of her head that Prim knew all to well. "How would I know what she was going through. She didn't talk, she barely ate anything. You took care of her most of the time. She just checked out on... YOU!"

"I know Katniss. But... since the second arena... you have become the one thing you hated most about mom. After... what happened in the square... you have locked yourself away... not dealing with anything... not eating... not taking care of yourself. Not caring whether you live or die. Can't you see that mom felt that way after daddy died. That daddy was the one who kept her strong. That they were two halves to the same whole and without him she was lost."

Katniss eyes flashed with her, 'I know the answer to this but I am not ready to given in yet', glint. "All I know is she wasn't there for YOU. She wasn't there to help... YOU."

Prim's eyes flashed back with, 'I don't have time to beat around the bush. You need to understand now.' "NO... Katniss. You mean she wasn't there for YOU. She let YOU down and you feel she has done it again. She didn't come home to twelve like she should have. Right! Like you wanted her to do! Like you needed her to do! Right!"

Katniss stared into Prim''s ice blue eyes and knew she had to finally relinquish the truth. "Yes... YES... she should have been there for me after daddy died. She should have helped me take care of you, take care of us. She should have come home with ME. But, she didn't... WHY... didn't she come home with me." Katniss asked through tears. "Why... didn't she take care of me... when I needed her most."

Prim sighed and took Katniss's hand. "She just needed time to deal with everything Katniss. You have always been so strong and determined. You have always hated her for her weakness and she knew she needed to be strong. She knew coming back to twelve would bring back memories of daddy and me. And I don't think she felt she could do it. I don't think she wanted to fall apart and not be able to be there for you, again. I think she felt she could help you better from where she is now. YOU just need to reach out to her. To call her and talk to her. The two of you need to heal together. You need to be a family again. Because, in the end, she is your mother and she loves you and you only have each other."

Katniss just starred into the fire and thought about what Prim had said. Yes, she did hate her mother for her weakness and she had... in many ways, become what she hated most about her mother. Maybe, her mother was trying to help her in the best way she could. Maybe, it is up to me to bridge the gap that was created when daddy died. Maybe... we could become a family again. Maybe.

Prim just waited patiently for Katniss to process everything they had talked about. She watched the different emotions play over her face. When she was satisfied that Katniss was ready to move on, she touch her hand to get her attention.

"Now, we need to talk about your 'choice'. Because, now you do have the power to make a 'choice.' Something that... certain people and certain circumstances took away from you before."

Katniss looked confused, "What do you mean my choice?"

"You need to decide between Peeta and Gale." Then Prim chuckled and said, "Or neither... which is pretty much you. But, you also need to remember, that there are no more camera's recording your every word and your every move. There are no more crowds to please or Snow to convince that you're in love. So, Katniss did you love Peeta during the first game? Did you fall in love with him later?"

Katniss was stunned. Prim was right. It was her choice now. There wasn't anyone she had to convince... not anymore. Did she love Peeta during the first game. No. She went to find Peeta, after the rule change... because she owed him... because she had a debt to repay and she had never had the opportunity to... thank him... to repay him. But, if she could help him survive... well.. then they would be even. She also knew that two people could survive better then one. After all she had been a part of a partnership that secured the survival of two families for over four years.

Prim continued to watch the questions brush across Katniss's face and she knew she needed time to work through things.

Katniss knew she had grown to rely on Peeta because he was there... going through the same things she was and she was thankful she wasn't facing them alone. If she was being fair to herself and to Peeta - she knew their relationship was based on lies and horrific and brutal circumstances. But, is it fair.. is it right to love someone for those reasons. Did she love him... No... not during the first games.. but later... Yes... but, was it a forever kinda of love... the love a woman should have for a man? She wasn't sure.

Katniss stared into the fire and whispered, "I am not sure if I love Peeta for the right reasons. He is a wonderful, kind and loving man. Any girl would be grateful to have him love her. I believe we have developed a bond... a special bond... that was forged by fear, lies and circumstances... terrible, brutal happenings, that we had no control over."

Katniss turned to Prim and looked into her calm blue eyes, "I know in the beginning I was pretending, because I had to do whatever I needed to do to come home to you. Then I pretended, to 'convince' Snow, and protect Gale. But... I think that during that year together, we... or I came to rely on him... because I was glad I wasn't alone... and... no one else could be there with me."

"You mean Gale couldn't be there with you."

Katniss just nodded and said, "Yes."

"Gale has always had your back. Has always made you feel safe."

"Yes."

"But, you were never safe with Peeta... were you?"

"No... whenever Peeta and I were together... we were always dealing with intense fear... forced to face situations we had no control over. We learned to except that we could die at any moment and we could do nothing about it. Then he was hijacked." Katniss reached up and touch her neck remembering how it felt when Peeta attacked her, not once, but twice. "Then, for the second time, I became afraid of him."

"The second time?"

"Yes. During the first games, when he did the things he did, I was afraid of him. But, I can't blame him. He wanted to survive, just like I did. He wanted to go home, too."

"Yes. But, you didn't change during the games. You were the same person you always were. Looking out for little Rue like you did. The point where you changed... when you compromised the person that you were, that you are... is when you went to find Peeta. That is when you had to begin to lie... to pretend... so that you both could survive."

Katniss thought about the talk they had had the night before the first games. Peeta had told her how much he didn't want the games to change him. But, he was all ready manipulating and doing things he needed to do to survive. Did he really love her then? Was it just a school boy crush that he tried to use to his advantage? Maybe. She wasn't really sure.

Prim glanced around and noticed that the mist was slowly starting to descend on the clearing. She realized her time with Katniss was coming to an end and she still had things she needed to discuss with her. "Okay, but what about Gale. Did you love Gale before the first games? Did you know how he felt about you... before you left?"

"I... Gale... it's complicated." Katniss rubbed her forehead and continued to stare into the fire... looking for answers. But, like always when she stared deep into the fire all she could see is the bomb exploding and the fire that consumed her little sister. The fire that tried and failed to consume her. "Gale was responsible for... he designed the bomb... that... went off in the square."

"Oh, Katniss, during all the years the two of you hunted together, Gale always treated me like I was his little sister. The Hawthorns and the Everdeens were like one big family. Do you really think that Gale would hurt me?"

Katniss glanced at Prim, and shook her head. "No."

"Do you really think he knew how Coin and Beetee where going to use the designs, from the traps and snares, his father taught him? The same ones he used to help us all survive."

"I... I don't think so. I am not sure. He seemed to change so much during that time."

"Changed? You of all people know the kind of boy that he was. The kind of man that he is. Gale and you were all about family. All about providing a better life for the one's you loved."

Katniss continued to stare into the fire as tears ran down her face.

"Katniss, Gale was there all those years hunting side by side with you. You two have grown together in so many ways. I saw a man who stepped up and worked for the rebellion because he knew we had to win. Look what happened when we lost the first time. He knew that to have any kind of life... any kind of life with you... things had to change. The Capitol rule had to be eliminated." Prim reached over and wiped the tears from Katniss face as she whispered, "Did you love Gale before you left for the first games?"

Katniss flashed back to the day that Gale was whipped for a turkey. She gave a short mirthless laugh. A turkey. He was just trying to survive, to provided for his family. She remembered how she felt when she watched him writhing in pain. She wished that she could take all his pain away, that it was her and not him lying there. Gale had told her once that she only came to him, only loved him, when he was in pain. He was right... partly... she loved him when he was in pain because... she was in pain, too. She had put Peeta and everyone before Gale so many times this past year. Why? Because, she thought she was protecting him. That she could make everything right if she just did what Snow wanted her to do. And he wanted her to sacrifice everything she loved. He wanted to destroy her and to distinguish hope for the future.

Prim waited patiently for Katniss to work through her own thoughts. To understand what she wouldn't let herself feel.

Katniss scrunched her forehead up and then made that face that stated, 'she was finally ready to conceded, what she always knew.' If she was truthful with herself, it had always been Katniss and Gale - Gale and Katniss. Did she love him? Yes. Their love started from a mutual need to survive and developed over time. They had laughed, fought, cried and faced fear together. They learned from each other and worked together like a well balanced team. They both knew when to lead and to follow and neither felt the need to compromise. They were each other's best friend and knew each other better than anyone. They were two halves to the same whole and he made her stronger. She always felt safe when he was with her.

Katniss raised her eyes from the depths of the fire and smiled at Prim. She nodded and said, "Yes... I have always loved Gale. I never wanted to, I never wanted to love anyone. I wasn't going to get married or have kids... ever. Gale knew that... and I think... he didn't tell me before I left because... he wanted to give me time to realize what I felt. I guess he hoped it would dawn on me the same way it dawned on him." Katniss laughed, "He can be such an idiot sometimes."

Prim looked surprised and then burst out laughing. "Yeah, boys... they can be idiots... most of the time."

Katniss cocked her eyebrow at Prim, "Really! So, little duck, what 'boys' are you talking about?" She reached over and poked Prim in her sides, "Huh, come on, you can tell me!" They both slide off the log and landed on the ground giggling.

When they had settled down and caught their breath, Prim reached over and dished up a big helping of rabbit stew and handed it to Katniss. Katniss took a big whiff of the stew and realized just how hungry she really was. She took a big mouth full and the next thing she knew her plate was empty. "Wow, that was delicious, little duck. I didn't know you could cook like that." She chuckled. "I think from now on I will leave all the cooking to you."

Prim just smiled at Katniss and looked at the mist getting closer to where they were sitting. She sat back down on the log and stroked Katniss's hair. "Well, I think it is time YOU finally learn how to cook. You know, something edible." Prim laughed.

"Hey... very funny. I am not that bad." She stuck her tongue out at Prim and then laughed. It felt good to talk to Prim again... to laugh and joke with her. There had not been enough laughter in their house while Prim was growing up. Though she had tried to make things as easy for her as she could. They had found that they spent a lot of time at the Hawthorn's house. There was always plenty of laughter to go around there. Even mom seemed to glow again, laugh again, while they were there. I guess Prim was right, the Hawthorn's and the Everdeen's had become one big family.

Prim said, "There is one more thing I need to discuss with you before I go." Katniss turned to Prim with such a pained look on her face, that Prim almost wanted to cry. Prim continued to stroke her hair and whispered, "It's going to be okay. Katniss, you need to trust me that everything is going to work out. Really it is."

She glanced at the mist that was creeping closer. "The night of the quarter quill announcement. The night you ran out and broke the window in the basement of the empty house. That was the night that you gave up on me... on everyone that you really loved. That was the night you decided you were going to die... to save Peeta. Why? Because, you decided that everything that happened was your fault. That you shouldn't be the mockingjay because you weren't good enough. You thought it should have been Peeta because he had a way with words... because he was so nice. Right?"

Katniss's mouth fell open and she just looked at Prim. "How did you know all of those things? I never talked to anyone about that. Ever."

"It doesn't matter, now. But, you need to know that it was never blame that fell on you... it was fate. That you always had the right words to say when you needed them the most. That you touched a nation with your compassion, intelligence, strength and determination. Not just the Districts but the Capitol people as well. You never needed the 'star crossed lover' thing to make the people love you... they all ready did. You were always the 'Girl on Fire' long before you went to the Capitol. You are meant for great things and there is more to come in your life. If you just let it in."

Katniss just shook her head 'no' and said, "I have done such terrible things. I have become a murderer, a monster. Everyone would have been better off without me there. Snow would have left everyone alone... if I was gone."

"Katniss, we all did what we had to do. Truthfully, we never should have been in this situation. The Capitol never should have taken the children from the district's and killed them for their amusement. But they did. Things had to change and fate picked you. Or... really, fate picked me and you took my place. The truth is, it wouldn't have made a difference to Snow if you had died in the quill. He would have destroyed all of us in the end. You just wouldn't have been there to see it happen."

Katniss knew Prim was right. She had been selfish thinking that with her death Snow would have left everyone alone. He would have killed them... one by one... but she wouldn't have been there to suffer through each death. The people she loved... the one's she had left behind, would have had to deal with Snow's tyranny.

"You need to forgive yourself and recognize that we all did what we had to do to make a better world for our families to live in. Everyone is free to live and do what they want to do now. Your spark started a fire that burned down the old dictatorship and lead the way to a new government. Katniss, you need to except your part in this new world and live a full and happy life. Can you do that?"

Katniss whispered, "I think so... I HOPE so." Katniss thought that she had destroyed her hope for the future when she had killed Coin. Maybe. It wasn't her fault... maybe... fate just picked her - out of that bowl - on reaping day. It may have been her sister's name that was chosen but 'fate' knew she would never let her sister face the arena.

Prim lean over and kissed Katniss on the cheek and hugged her. "Good! Now, I won't have to worry about you so much." She whispered into her ear so quietly that Katniss almost couldn't hear what she said. "I have to go now. But, you will be okay. I promise."

Prim stood up and Katniss started to protest. "Prim... please... I can't face life without you here."

"Yes, you can. I will always be with you." Prim kneeled down and touch Katniss's heart. "Here... I will always be here. You will keep me here... just like you do daddy."

Katniss had tears streaming down her face as she shook her head 'yes.' "Yes... I will. You and daddy will always be alive... right here... in my heart. Always!"

Prim stood back up and started to walk into the mist but stopped and turned one last time. "I think you are ready to make your choice, now. I think you know who you really love. The two of you will have a wonderful life together." Prim smiled and chuckled, "Oh, and you will have several children. Make sure you tell them the truth about how their mother changed a nation and how their father saved her. How they found salvation in each other." Prim smiled. "Salvation for two."

Katniss watch as the mist rolled back in and surround Prim. As she disappeared before her eyes she heard Prim say, "Oh, daddy told me to tell you that he loves you and he is very proud of the woman you became. So am I." Katniss just sat there in the mist. She wasn't sure what she should do. She had tried to move... to go after Prim but she couldn't get up. It was like she was frozen to the ground. She just closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, she was lying on her blankets next to the campfire. She looked over to where Gale should be and he was there sound asleep.

Prim was gone. She was really gone. But, why wasn't she crying or screaming out the pain she should be feeling. She didn't feel the need to do either. She did feel an overwhelming sense of calm... of peace. She knew everything would be okay.

She looked back over at Gale and realized that there really wasn't a choice to make. Their love had always been genuine and real. Not something that had to be faked for the sake of survival. It had grown and deepened with the passage of time. It had always been Gale. Always! Snow did his best to take him away from her but 'fate' has a way of setting things right.

Katniss stood up and picked up her blankets. She went over to where Gale was sleeping and started to lay her blanket down next to his. Gale woke up with a start, "What's wrong... are you okay?"

"Yes." Katniss smiled. "I am okay. Can you move over a little."

Gale watched Katniss fold her blanket and put it on the ground. He pulled his blanket back so that she could lay down next to him. Katniss put her head on his chest and Gale threw his blanket over both of them.

Katniss could hear Gale's heart beat faster and could feel the tension in his body. She knew he wasn't sure about her... about them... what was going on. She couldn't blame him. She had been hard on him. Blaming him for what happened to Prim. She had said terrible and hurtful things to him. But, he had stayed. He had dragged her back out to their woods so that he could help her heal. He alone would have known that this is the only place that would bring her back to life. These woods - that were so much a part of both of them.

Katniss smiled to herself because she knew exactly what to say to reassure him that they were going to be okay. "We could do it you know. We could run away. We could make it... you and I."

She slowly felt the tension leave his body and his heart beat became steady. "Yes. Yes, we could make it. You and I."

"Good. We can leave in the morning." She slid her arm across his chest. "I love you. You know that. Right?" Katniss didn't have to look up to know that Gale was smiling. She could feel it because she was smiling too.

Gale chuckled. "I know." As he kissed her forehead he said, "Go to sleep catnip... we have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow. Sweet dreams!"

Katniss turned her face up to his and softly kissed his lips. "Goodnight Gale. Sweet dreams!" She laid her head back on his chest where she could hear the sound of his beating heart. A sound she wanted to spend the rest of her life listening to. Then she whispered, "Thank you little duck for my sweet dream." Gale pulled her closer and wrapped her in his arms. Katniss thought, Prim was right, they would find salvation in each other. Salvation for two!


End file.
